The Pursuit of Passion.

Today, I listened to a Podcast by Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School. It was on the topic "How to Enjoy Yourself". I'm listening to it at a point in my life that I feel lost, unhappy, and stuck. Searching for a reason to live. I learned two very key things - I'm a people pleaser and I do something called Buffering. I've turned people pleasing into what satisfies me and the expense of me own true desires. Denying myself of amzing experiences to make someone else happy. Burying my own feelings. That all hit so deep.

I want to enjoy myself. I want to feel passionate. I want to enjoy life. But how? It's unfortunate that the only way I know to be happy is by pouring into someone else. How do I give myself permission to pour into myself. Am i being privileged and entitled to think that is even something I deserve?

Another of Brooke's podcast talked about deciding when to leave. "Is leaving what you truly want or are you chasing happiness"? I discovered the concept of getting happy before leaving. being happy with the reasons you decide to leave, with love, communication and not destroying something before leaving it. Not feeling that i need to leave in a hurry. I needed that.

So I am learning what passion is for me and finding happiness in the situations that make up my life and choosing new ones.