The six of us..

“Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.”

William James

I discovered that quote from William James a few years ago and it opened my eyes to the nature of us humans and the fact that we really can’t help ourselves.

What concerns me most about this reality, is that the two people never actually really meet. Each man as he really is is seldom seen. Our effort goes into projecting how we see ourselves or defending ourselves from how the other person sees us.

The ultimate catfish!

Imagine walking away from this meeting and often deciding to engage or reject based on what was projected and what was assumed about a person. No need to imagine, that’s how we live. Marriages are built on this very phenomenon. Businesses formed, campaigns launched. Leaving each man to decide whether to carry on the facade forever, or deal with the consequences when he breaks, no longer able to play the role.

Quite the quandary. To think also that we have been projecting and defending for so long, that we no longer know who we are, and possibly no longer even exist.